Grateful

On October 17th 2010 we lost Elder Nicholas Taylor Ferrin. Many people have asked about the experience and so I wanted to take a minute to share what a blessing it was to have Nick as a brother in our lives and the legacy he's left.

Nick struggled early on with the decision to serve a mission, in fact it wasn't until he was almost 21 that he made it to the MTC. He finally overcame many of his struggles and felt impressed that it was time he served. He had told his mom early on that he didn't want to be the uncle, cousin, or brother that "didn't" serve, or to be considered the bad example. Nick always wanted to make those around him happy, and did not like to disappoint. But in fact his decision was one he made based on faith and after much prayer. We all rejoiced the day Nick gave his farewell talk, we all saw a softer side of Nick and knew that he was confident in his decision to serve. Through the first months we all worried, some of his e-mails seemed like he was a little depressed and we all knew there were some who were not happy with his decision to serve and he had to face the reality of that every day. A few weeks later we started receiving pictures of Nick in the field, it was evident that he was enjoying his mission, we couldn't mistake the happiness that was shown on his face. His letters became more like "missionary" letters and it was evident his testimony had grown and he was truly happy to be in the service of the Lord. The Wednesday before he passed Cameron's dad received a call from Nick with permission from his Mission President. Nick was considering coming home from his mission, he was overwhelmed with the conflict he was facing, he knew what the Lord wanted him to do, but couldn't escape the feeling of guilt for having left someone he loved behind. After a talk with his Dad, he knew he was where he was suppose to be, and just needed to hear it from his dad. The next day he called his Mission President and told him that he didn't need to worry about Elder Ferrin anymore, he was 100% ready to serve and had resolved this internal conflict he had. He began a new start to his mission after that day, his companion wrote that he had never seen Elder Ferrin so happy. He told his companion the Saturday morning he suffered the aneurysm that he was putting a lot of faith in Jesus Christ, and trusting in Him. That same day he laid down to take a nap before his dinner appointment and his companion was unable to awaken him. Nick never woke up after that afternoon. He suffered from a Berry Aneurysm that burst, something that he had probably had since he was a baby.

While the loss of Nick is great, we loved him so much and were so excited to see the necessary steps he took to live righteously, the Lord saw that Nick had served well and passed his final test. My mother in law has said many times something that has stuck with me, she mentioned that their were no coincidences in what happened to Nick. We may not understand it, or like it, but I can't avoid what seems obvious to me, this was the Lords plan for Nick. Nick will never be known as the uncle or cousin who didn't serve, he is far from any bad example. Nick was the Uncle who served righteously and committed himself to the service of the Lord. We can all learn a little from Nick, it's never to late to recommit yourself and listen to the promptings we receive. Nick's service in the field touched the lives of many, his personality was one where people were drawn to him. He was never shy about sharing his struggles with investigators or inactive members. This openness he had about himself drew people to him. He was able to touch many inactive members who other missionaries were not able to reach. Before Camerons parents left Portland (where Nick served) a young man named Alex who was Nick's age and struggling with the decision to serve a mission told Mike and Shari that he had made the decision to serve a mission. This young man was facing many of the same struggles Nick did before and while serving, Alex said " If Nick can do it, so can I". Nick had taught Alex's girlfriend and baptized her. It's examples like that, that make us proud of Nick's example and service. We love Nick and will miss him, but we are grateful for the knowledge we have, we will see Nick again someday and that brings us much comfort.

Thanks again to everyone who expressed their love for the Ferrin Family, we felt every one of your prayers and are truly grateful.